"Cuz I have my man here, Taylor Lautner! Oh Lautner. Roses are red, violets are blue, as if it's not gay enough that I'm a sparkling vampire, I wanna kiss youuuu!!!"
"But no.... Imma gentleman. Like in the movie, Twilight, where I wait until the fourth installment and for Bella to marry me before I f*** her. Imma start by kissing your hand. Mmmphh... Mmmpphhhh..."
"Mmmppphhhh.... Your hair smells.. better than mine? Nah, but what the heck. Even Betty White smells better than my hair."
"Oh, Taylooooooooorrrrrrrrrrr........"
"Now I'm back to kissing this squashed fruit and as if she's not squashed enough, I'm going to turn her into a vampire and give her a baby vamp that'll suck her blood right from her umbilical cord right even before he/she was born..... Isn't that just 'great'?"
"Ay, Taylor... I'll never forget OUR moment. Never..."
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