Emily Osment is lovesick. And Mother Monster is NOT happy about it...

"Well hello little monsters!!!"

"Remember me? It's me, mother monster!!! Yes I've been a little bit busy lately and we'll talk about that later but first, mother monster just want little monster to know that mother monster is angry! Mother monster is pissed! Well remember when mother monster told little monsters how mother monster had stolen Emily Osment's wig from the set of Hannah Montana? Now she's taking revenge on mother monster!"

Emily Osment-Lovesick

"Oh dear Emily 'I-sing-better-than-Miley-that's-why-I-play-a-dumb-blonde-in-Hannah-Montana-so-they-could-shut-me-up' Osment...."

"I don't care if you want to look like Carrie Underwood.."

"Or some less-trashy version of Miss 'It's-all-about-booze-and-sex" Ke$ha."

"But.... But.... But this....."

"You try to copy mother monster? YOU TRY TO COPY MOTHER MONSTER!!??"


"Mother monster thought mother monster have made it very clear that...."

"Mother monster f**king hate copycatters!!!"

"This is a symbolism, a warning for you, young lady. See this head? This is what I do to all my copycaters out there! I dance with their decapitated head while being watched by a bunch of gays in awe. They fear me!!"

"And then they all bow down to me, their Mother Monster. What? You're still not afraid. Wait.... I'm not finished yet...."

"After I've kill and seperate your head from your body, I'll expand your tripe and wear'em as my dress!! Hahahahaha!! Do you get that? I'LL WALK AROUND IN YOUR GUTS!"

"But honey... Don't be afraid of mother monster. Mother monster is no evil. Mother monster just don't like to have a lot of competitors. Isn't Miss 'All-boobs-and-party' Katy Perry and Miss 'Chains-and-whips-excites-me-but-offends-my-ancestors' Rihanna is not enough? And don't let me even start on your co-star, Miss Miley 'Everyone-has-to-grow-up-and-wear-no-pants-too-someday' Cyrus."

"What mother monster wanna say here is, be yourself honey Emily. There's no shame in being just another pop-tart Disney star singing about happy lives and fairies and unicorns... Just embrace your talent and stop copycatting others cause honey, you were BORN THIS WAY.."

"xoxo. Mother Monster."