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Friday 23 September 2011

Fashion: Rose Byrne in Christina Alcay

Now you just have to put, like, a thousand kilowatts of electrics charge on the dress

Rose Byrne attends an event to celebrate her being on the latest cover of the Gotham magazine in NYC.
and THEN you can scream, "IT'S ALIVE! IT'S FREAKIN ALIVE!"

And BTW, FYI, I love your OLD BANGS better. (although you do look more miserable then)

Fashion: Does This Outfit Makes Me Look..... Prosperously Healthy?

And I wonder why girls are so ( FILL IN THE ADJECTIVES, GIRLS) by the fact that certain dress or getups DOES MAKE THEM LOOK fat.

Like Miss Charlize here.

Charlize Theron in Roland Mouret at the GQ Men of The Year Event, earlier this month.
If she had a conversation with her boyfriend before she leaves the house, I imagine this is what it'd sound like:

Charlize: Does this outfit makes me look, you know, like I have an elephant's legs?

BF: If you meant 'Elephantitis', then no.

Charlize: What do you mean, 'Elephantitis'? I'm talking about something else! Do you mean I look like someone who HAVE elephantitis!?

BF: How would I know. You can even hide an elephantitis-clad Rosie O' Donnel in that pants.

Charlize: Oh hell n...

BF: Oh no baby. You look pretty. You look very... healthy. And glowy. You look very... well-nutrified. Very.... unhungry. You look like you've packed all the energy you'd be needing for the day in... you. And your thighs look so... muscular. You don't look at all like a woman who were trying to hide her post-baby weight after giving birth to a quadruplets and her womb was mistakenly placed by God at her calf. See? You look.... okay.

Charlize: Oh, thank you boo. You're the best!! Bye now!

BF: ............ Damn it! Game over!

Well, I'm pretty sure if you have a girlfriend as hot as Charlize-freakin-Theron you wouldn't even bother to play (or even touch) your video games anymore. But anyway, yeah. She does look like a human-elephant hybrid. A hot one though.


Yeah I mean she might have a case of severe elephant legs (caused by the lack of support by the stylist and gays community) but she still have THAT FACE. I mean, how many of you guys have THAT FACE? I love this picture. It's pretty. Very Vogue-editorial-ish. It'll be titled 'The Price of Fame' where in the last picture there'll be a picture of  a tombstone with this written on it: ' SOMEONE (19-something - 20-something) She was once starred in that movie about something-something-something.'

Anyway. Then I saw Whitney Port wearing this.


If the gay community supports her, there are two possibilities of what will happen when they saw her wearing this:

Situation 1:
"Oh honey, that baggy pants look soooooo chic. Haven't seen one of those since I grad from my highschool circa the 80s! Love you for bringing that back! And I love it that you pair them with that sweater your meemaw knitted for you last Christmas. That's soooo sweet. And that Furbie you're carrying as your handbag? Honey you're sooooooo a trendsetter!! Hugs and kisses!"

Situation 2:
"Invest in an alarm clock so that you won't wake up late so that you won't shows up at events wearing your pyjamas pants so that you could save us all the troubles and misery so that we won't be so bitter so that it can make this world a whole lot better place! *bitchslap!*"

I prefer the latter. It's for your own good, Whitney honey. Hugs and kisses!

Wednesday 21 September 2011

Fashion: Selena Gomez at the 'Abduction' Premiere (with a little bit, actually, a lot of random shit)

"Oh, wow! How supportive! Selena Gomez is attending her ex, Taylor Lautner's movie premiere, Abduction. A story about how finding out that you're adopted can turn you from Jacob Black to Jason Bourne. Well, maybe Twilight could be more interesting if Jacob Black IS actually a secret agent. Just sayin'. Errrr.. Look! Selena Gomez being supportive guys! Look!"

Really... Supportive, huh? Lets read her body language then..


Well, this is "Oh, hey guys. Didn't see you there... Yeah... I'm just another normally adorable Disney's star attending her ex's movie premiere. See? One hand in my pocket, the cross-legged pose, simple black cute sequined top with an age-appropriate and not too provocatively sexy miniskirt with my natural makeups and my laundry hair. See? I'm chill. Nothing to worry here."


"Hmmph! These bunch of stupidos. What do they know? See this Taylor motherf**kers? This earrings are symbols of me turning over a new leaf and making it big in Hollywood after I date that stupid kid. See how the gold symbolize wealth and the money I made? And black? This black is a sign of hatred. I hate you! Thank God I succeeded in convincing that stupid blonde, Taylor not-Lautner (duh, you're not blonde and you should never be. Well, actually if being blonde will make you look stupid then be it then.) to write a song about you to make you look bad. HAHAHA. And this... this makeup... and this hair... is because I remember how much you like me... without any makeups on. And remember that time when you got caught in the tanning machine and then I have to help you out and then we have a great laugh about it and then... and then..... those sweet ol' times...."


"And that time when we go on a picnic and a bee stung my lips and that time when..... Wait. Why is HE here?"


"Fuck! Gimme a break, God! Can't I go anywhere for a second WITHOUT this guy following me around? Geez!"


" GULP. Maybe if I tiptoed my way outa here he wouldn't noticed me coming here without his permi...."


Bieber: Oh, honey, baby, baby, baby ouh.... Whatcha doin' here gal... I thought you said you're going to celebrate your friend's birthday party at that ice-cream place. OUR favorite ice-cream place.

Selena: I don't even like ice-cream, you insensitive freak.

Bieber: What do you say just now, my little one less lonely girl in the world?

Selena: Errr... No... I.... Errrr... No.... Like.... You know... Errr... Hangout... Like.... Yeah....


Bieber: Follow me now or I'll cut your allowance and date Demi Lovato or Taylor Swift and make'em more famous than you, bitch.


Selena: UGH! Fuck my life!

Bieber: No worry my gal, no matter where cha goin', I'll always be right next to yah!

Emmy Awards: My First Prom

You know, at one point I thought I'm so in love with Zooey Deschanel. Matter fact, I might be loving her so much that I can let go of the fact that she's wearing something very big and shiny and wrinkly and very pink, with a red bow tied across her waist.

Zooey Deschanel at the 2011 Emmy Awards After-Party in Monique Lhuillier
Thank God I was wrong.

Emmy Awards: My 'Beige' Night (with bonus: ACM feat. Taylor Swift)

When I saw this pic of Elisabeth Moss at the recent Emmy Awards, I was like, "Enh."

Elisabeth Moss in Marchesa at the 2011 Emmy Awards.
Okay, maybe not just "Enh". I also "Marchesa!"-ed when I saw this. And because I'm a big fan of illusions neckline, I also give her a plus point for that.

But like I said just now, it's the same ol' Elisabeth - beige dress, beige makeups, beige accessories. And the more I look at those illusions neckline, the more it look as if a flock of pigeons just took a crap on her shoulder. A glitter crap, apparently. Must be Ke$ha's pet. Damn you, Ke$ha!

And then, I saw this picture of Taylor Swift:

Taylor Swift in Elie Saab at the ACM Honors event in Nashville
I imagine if these girls hang out together they'll be like "OMG Beth (that's what I imagine Taylor will call Elisabeth) beige is like, so great, it was like, so cool and like, so awesome and I like, SUPER LOVE IT and stuff.." and Elisabeth will be like "Yeah.... Hmm... Yeah. Yeah." and Taylor was like "I am, like, totally going to write a song about this. I'll call it 'Beige In December' and it will be about our friendship and guys and highschools and guys. You know..... OMG this is sooooo exciting!!"